Thursday, March 15, 2012

The Meaning of "Things" to Adult Children of Divorce






When parents of adult children divorce, the adult children bear more burden and responsibility than younger children whose parents are divorcing.  Some parents take a united position in telling the adult children and encourage discussion and open sharing.  Most do not. 
 Some adult children are able to recognize from the beginning ( of the end of the parents marriage) that they need to carefully walk through the minefield of emotions and unexpected decisions that are being made before their very eyes.  Most do not.  There are many extremes and inbetweens.  But something common to all adult children of divorce is the impact that "things" will have or do have on them.  

"Things" can be material objects,like a ring or a hand-written letter.  They can be "things" that evoke a feeling, like a song or a old photo.  "Things" can be a recipe or a lawn ornament or a place on a map.   In some cases, adult children of divorce become involved in decisions concerning older parents' money and their financial inheritance, as it may be jeopardized  when new boyfriends or girlfriends and their children and grandchildren become more important than the "first" family which was a unit for a greater length of time.

In my next posts, my focus will not be on  money or inheritances, but instead on the simple description of "things".  I will attempt with each post to describe an object or a "thing" to which all ACODs can relate.   Each post will include the greater story of what that object may MEAN.  I can not pretend to know what all objects mean to all people, but I can speak from my experience and from the words I have read in books and blogs by other ACODs. 

My hope as we look at The Meaning of Things, is that we see the intrinsic value that lies much deeper than the object we may hold in our hands or at which we gaze.  The change in our perception and feelings may amplify what the meaning was and now what it is and can be.  As adult children of divorce sort through the "things" of our loss and memory ( both literally and figuratively) may we see the "things" for what they truly are and may we have great courage to preserve important "objects" for our loved ones, because we have a greater appreciation for the MEANING than for the THING. 

 Join me next week as we look at The House

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Topics

JANUARY TOPICS : Help and Hope
Grief
Bonds Unravel
Pain
Anger

FEBRUARY TOPICS: Anger
Counseling
Bargaining
Triangles
Honesty
Depression
Waiting
Boundaries

MARCH TOPICS: Accepting Change
Forgiving Parents
Time For Serenity
Things/Objects of Meaning
House
Rings

APRIL TOPICS: Postcard
Holidays
Recipe
Photo Album
Pathway

JUNE/JULY : Reflecting and Writing Again

AUGUST:
Acods and Listening
Acods and Materialism
Acods and Identity

SEPTEMBER:
Serenity Prayer Worksheet
ACODs and Simplicity
A New Look to the Blog!!
Serenity Prayer Extended Version/Worksheet
Simplicity
Why do we Blog???

NOV/DEC:
ACOD Serenity Prayer
ACOD Fathers and Mothers
Things Still Aren't Right This Christmas

Grandchildren of Divorce
ACODs and Affairs
Keep Going
ACOD Forward and Back
Lord' Prayer ACOD version
Ripple Effect
Grief Revisited
Too Many Choices
ACOD Times To Remember
Telling the Truth
Behind the Curtain

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