Time For Serenity

Beautiful carols, fine clothing, delicious food, gifts and more.  Christmas is for celebrating and enjoying God's goodness.  He sent His Son, Immanuel, God With Us, to save us and to make things right.  Try as we may, to capture the essence of this spiritual reality, it doesn't always seem so. In spite of health, family togetherness, and other comforts, this Christmas the children are grown and the childlike wonder is gone.  This Christmas sadness lingers from breakdown of extended family ties from the aftermath of divorce and distant relationships.  This Christmas new gifts were delivered with damage and the keeping of holiday traditions caused expensive messes! This Christmas the rain fell and roads became icy and we couldn't see the outdoor lights as we usually do.  My tooth has been sore and sensitive ( reflecting my emotions in an ironic manner) despite efforts to relieve the pain, so this Christmas I can only carefully enjoy the goodies. ...

Adult Children of Divorce usually have one parent who has been more influential in the breakup of the parent's marriage.  Sometimes it is mutually decided, but in my contact with many other ACODs I have found that it is very common that one parent decides to have a new life. Many other ACODs share that the "leaving" parent has made statements about finally being able to do what they want to, or comments that now it is their time to be selfish.  It is hard work being a mother or a father, but intrinsic is the opportunity to put your children's well-being above your own.  I can't imagine doing that for multiple decades, as I have only been a parent for 23 years , but it is my goal to do nothing that will put my children's well-being in jeopardy. No matter how old they are , or I am.  Often a part of the picture is an affair.  In my case, my father had an affair and made a choice that life apart of the family , and instead with his girlfriend, was hi...

Stick Your Neck Out and Face the Holidays as an ACOD!! When parents divorce in our adulthood, holidays change. Read my post called The Holiday to gain some help and hope for this challenging time of year. http://acodtimeforserenity.blogspot.com/2012/04/holiday.html#!/2012/04/holiday.html Take out a piece of paper and every time you think of something that is GOOD in your life, write it down. Although adult children of divorce have pain and loss, focusing on our blessings helps keep our perspective in balance. I am thankful for those who read, comment and email and help me not feel alone in this journey as an ACOD!!!

The Serenity Prayer for Adult Children of Divorce God grant us adult children of divorce the serenity to accept that things won't be the same in our families; courage to change things for the best when we can; and wisdom to know what is up to us, and what isn't. Living one day at a time; and handling one situation that arises at a time; Enjoying good past memories and enjoying each present moment as much as we are able, as we ultimately look to the future. Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace ; Trying to live as He did in this sinful world, accepting it as it is and not as we wish it were. Trusting that He will make all things right in our inner spirits and in the last chapter of our story, if we surrender to His Will; That we may be reasonably content in this life and supremely whole and in communion with God forever in the next. Amen. ( taken from The Pathway post on Time For Serenity blog)

My story has nothing to do with being an adult child of divorce .  It has everything to do with real fear.   Riding a roller coaster in the dark in one of the front seats pushed me over the edge.  Not literally,  but figuratively.  Although I was in my early twenties, I came off the "fun ride" and sat on a bench where a few elderly people were sitting.  They were probably experiencing physical reactions to being flung through the air wildly and quickly.  But I was experiencing psychological fear. And I was crying.  As embarrassing as it was, I could not control my reaction .  I was truly afraid. What is fun for one person in an amusement park may not be fun for another person. And as an ACOD, I don't mean to imply that any of it is fun for any of us.  But we all experience varying reactions that are common to all and some that are as different as we and our stories are! Fear shows up in different arenas for the adult chil...

Adult Children of Divorce blog or follow a blog for many reasons.  And most of you reading this probably know what a blog is, but those of you who don't,  it is a informal site that is a web log of sorts. A blog is an online journal which is updated with words of knowledge and experience for the world to read and respond to.  Blogs offer comment areas where readers can interact with the writer of the blog and with others who are reading the blog. A blog is a great tool for many topics, and it is a helpful resource for Adult Children of Divorce, no matter which stage we find ourselves in!!! After several months of digesting the news of my parents'  divorce after 45 years of marriage, I looked for help in any form as I sorted through so many emotional, physical, spiritual, and mental issues.  Books , and websites were few, although the ability to read about what I was going through was a tremendous lifeline.  A Divorce Care support group and...

  As you carry the burdens that come with being an adult child of divorce, think about other "boxes" and burdens that you can get rid of to lighten the load.  And don't forget to cast your cares upon God, for he cares for you!!  1 Peter 5:7  The load is lightened when He is helping to carry it!!!