Time For Serenity

Adult Children of Divorce and others who have experienced loss , often feel conflicted at this time of year.  Holidays often bring warm , happy feelings and well-wishes, good food and gifts of many kinds.  For those who are grieving , the messages we receive from others may not match with the way we feel at the moment. Henry W. Longfellow experienced this on Christmas Day in 1863.  His wife had recently died in an accident , and his oldest son was serving as a Union soldier in the American Civil War, without his father's blessing.  Henry penned his poem "Christmas Bells" when he was feeling the conflict, of the hope and good news of the season, yet feeling his own personal loss at the same time.  Later the poem was put to music. I have always loved the sound and melody of the song, but only recently truly read and thought about Longfellow's words.  And I added a few stanzas of my own, as follows: I heard the bells on Christmas Day Their o...

Many adult children of divorce have prodigal parents. Today I re-read Luke 15: 11- 32 which is given the heading "The parable of the Lost Son" or "The parable of the Prodigal Son" . Jesus told this story as a response to religious leaders as they questioned why Jesus was speaking to an audience of "sinners".  The story illustrates a father welcoming a wayward son home, just as God welcomes a humble, repentant man or woman back into fellowship with him after they have strayed. If you are an adult child of divorce you likely have a lost or prodigal parent. They leave, go off on their own , and pursue their own lives and pleasures. Often we, as children, are left to wait. We have to let them go. Sometimes this means distance, sometimes estrangement. We wonder if they will ever "come to their senses" as the son in the parable does. We hope for that and pray for that and we wait. And we hurt. In the book "Parenting your Adult Chi...

Adult Children of Divorce need other Adult Children of Divorce. I am grateful to those who have contacted me and shared their stories and what their struggle entails as they journey through being an adult child of divorce.  The feeling that we are not alone is a great consolation to each other. Thanks for all those who read my blog. I am thankful for you and do remember you in my prayers at this time of thanksgiving !!!

The word Serenity caught my eye.  A new online site is committed to helping us achieve a little peace in our busy , challenging lives.  The quote below is what I read just a few minutes ago: "For many of us, weekdays mean being stressed, overworked and constantly connected, with little time for pause or reflection. When the weekend comes around, it can be difficult to de-stress, slow down and unplug. What we need is an oasis of well-being, wisdom and wonder. Enter Serenity Saturdays......"       The site encouraged people to send in photos of them relaxing, enjoying and taking time for enjoyment today. If I am to be truthful, which I want to be and try to be,  even though my name is Serenity, I must admit that the state of serenity does not come to me naturally.  My husband and family and close friends will tell you that often I am nothing of the sort!!!  When I began my blog, I chose the name Serenity because that is what ...

  Over five years have passed since I began processing my father's affair and the soon-to-follow end of my parent's 45 year marriage.  Grief was loud and dissonant as my life's sweet sound became a irritating and unpleasant ringing in my ear.  I knew as I processed grief and tried to reach out to other ACODs that we would need to leave our deep feelings of anger, depression, sadness, etc. and focus on lighter things. You and I  would need to learn to step away from the drumming of constant thoughts and emotions to hear again the music of serenity.      That is why I try to put a post entitled " On A Lighter Note" in my blog occasionally. A funny joke, or a light message of courage is all I can handle some days, when I need a reprieve.  Today I need that again.  It is not a cartoon, or a quote today, but today it is music. My fingers on the piano , relieving stress and listening to the harmony of sound helps soothe my re-opened w...

Adult Children of Divorce just want to blend in, but sometimes we stick out. As I arrived at the Christian Writers Conference I was recently invited to, my goal was to learn about what it takes to be a writer, what is involved in publishing an article or a book, and to just observe. Observe, blend in and quietly learn. I drove down the winding road toward the conference center, past a shimmering lake, allowing myself to breathe in the cool calm.   Walking into the room, I was greeted by a welcomed familiar face and others who were displaying welcome. Centerpieces of painting supplies on each table dripped the theme of creating, whether it be by brush, or pen. Realizing that the frog out of water down by the lake probably felt less uneasy than I did, I determined to act like I belonged.  These were writers. Real writers. Those who write for a living. Those who know how to pay attention to words, adverbs, sentence structure, and write many drafts before they a...

This little wren has brought me much joy . I have known all about him and his coming and going ( literally) and he has just discovered me!! Bird watching and feeding has been passed down through the women in my family. The enjoyment we get from seeing the amazing color and activity has helped us understand God.  Images of God caring for the birds ("Look at the birds,....your Heavenly Father feeds them Are you not much more valuable than they?" Matthew 6:26)  and images of God covering us and sheltering us with His wings ( Psalm 91:4) has made me watch these little creatures with wonder , realizing I am similar to the birds! This morning the reality became even more vivid. I had attached a window bird house/box to my home for many years , but this year a wren became interested for the first time. The birdhouse is unique in that I can look out of my window and see INTO the back of the bird's nest.  First , I began seeing a little twig or two in the empty box...