Time For Serenity

  I have been an ACOD for almost 5 years. I only began writing a little over a year ago. In the past , my mind was racing, everything I was thinking about , processing, having to physically deal with, and practically do after the fall-out of my parent's marriage came fast and furious.   Now, I still have a lot to process and new information from the past, or new situations of today come into my world, but the daily mental and emotional and physical toll has become lessened with time and my ACOD thoughts do not consume me, and life is at a more normal pace again.   My writing at first mimicked what I describe above.  Words came, thoughts came, things counselors said were fresh and I wrote. You read . And I am grateful for what it has meant.   Now , my thoughts come less often and less intense. I am often not sure what other ACODS want to hear.  At first I was hoping for more comments and interaction, but I realize this is a personal , pain...

I recently saw that there is a similar name as Serenity time that has a Facebook account. It is not me.

"...we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance,  perseverance character, and character ,hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts ...."     Paul's letter to the Romans Chapter 5 Verses 3b -5a

WELCOME:   Creating a place for Adult Children of Divorce of every age to come for a bit of hope and help has been a desire of mine as I have navigated the rough waters of finding my place within the aftermath of my parent's divorce.  The counsel I have found and from which I have benefited in the past few years is what I will share with all of us in an effort to encourage us that we are not alone and there is hope. May this place be where we can all go to move us toward times of serenity and peace within our circumstances.   ABOUT ME:   I am a 50 some-thing adult child of divorce who has been married more than 30 years myself. My parents divorced after years of what I thought was family closeness and no sign of what was coming. Within the past few years I have received wonderful help and counsel and I want to share with others who are going through a parent's divorce. You may be 20 or 50 and experiencing this change in your life and I hope we can help each...

Adult Children of Divorce heal.  We move forward.  We laugh again and have some hope for a happy future.  We walk , looking ahead.  That is what I experienced a few days ago.  I was looking for some old photos and spent time going through many old photo albums.  I saw photos of a once-together, happy family.  Amazingly, I could view these photos from the past without bawling and with actually feeling warm feelings of what we had in the past. I didn't feel like I was grieving what we lost, but instead I was able to be thankful for what we had. Moving forward felt good.  I was grateful I had come so far. Then....  I stopped in my tracks and began to move one step back.  I won't go into detail about what it was THIS time, but I think all ACODs know this phenomena.  It can be a new story you hear from a relative or past neighbor about something you never knew before concerning your parents marriage.  It sometimes is a pho...

  Adult Children of Divorce sometimes need to just keep going!  I was reminded of that last week when I took to the slopes for some winter downhill snow skiing.   I consider myself a fairly able snow skier. I like the slower , more relaxed trails, so the first run down was nicely comfortable.  My second time down I decided to ride the lift all the way to the top. Not having skied this particular hill before, I really didn't know what I was getting myself into!   The view from the top was spectacular , but when I looked at the slope, I knew I was not prepared!   But, prepared or not, I HAD to go down. So, I began down. Skis in the slow/brake position, to prevent myself from going too fast. And before I knew it I was head over heals, laying in the snow!!  I could not "right" myself. I was in one position on my side and just decided that I would let gravity take me down in that position. After a few feet of sliding on my hip an...

Many of us ACODs have witnessed the burning down of our families due to the fuel of an affair on the part of one or both of our parents. Affairs can sometimes be "explained away" to a child.  Reasons of friendship, having grown apart, or a new chance at love may seem reasonable to a child, although hurtful. As adults, we are familiar with the concept of affairs and we often observe it from afar in the lives of others, but when the many levels of deception, betrayal and destruction are experienced first or second-hand, there is a deeper clarity and pain. Since the discovery of my father's affair, and subsequent choices of his ended family as we all knew it, I have heard many people refer to affairs in common terms. They may call it a "mistake" or "just an affair".  Some say things like "all sin is the same in God's eyes" or they minimize the personal responsibility by claiming that sometimes people can't "help it". ...