Friday, July 27, 2012

Adult Children of Divorce Listen


Adult Children of Divorce listen.  They listen to their parents tell each ones side of the story. They listen to the friends and relatives who have opinions and questions. They listen to their counselors and the wisdom that others who have walked this road share.
Adult Children of Divorce listen to their siblings and  their children share their own hurts and feelings.  And we listen to the voices in our own heads as we move in and out from anger, grief, acceptance , denial, and all the stages we go through!!

I have been listening , too.   While I have taken some months to refrain from writing , I have listened to those of you who have emailed me.  I have listened to what others are saying and writing about late-life divorce.  I have listened to the statistics from those of you reading my blog : My stats page shows me that most of you are reading the posts I have written about grief, anger and the hurt that is felt as an Adult Child of Divorce.

I have always known that listening is a valuable skill to fine-tune in my life.  I am just like anyone else, in the fact that listening is much harder to do than talking.  I need to work at it. I need to prepare for it and I need to provide time to do it.  Taking time from writing my blog has helped me to not only figuratively "listen" to others in the same situation, but I hope I have not only listened, but truly heard and understood,as well. 

What I feel I understand better now, is that we need most of our help as Adult Children of Divorce when the initial shock or change begins.  That is my assumption as many of you are reading the grief series more than other posts I wrote.
 I  also have concluded that we need a good deal of help and support as adult children of divorce in our new roles and relationships going forward. This has been clear to me as I communicate with those of us who have been on our journey for a longer time period and are grappling with what the acceptance stage looks like.

In my next few posts I will be addressing a few issues that others brought to my attention by their books or articles.  The issue of materialism may affect those who have been touched by divorce as children.  And the topic of our own self-worth and significance related to the dissolution of our parents marriage will be something to talk about and listen to.

I am grateful to those who have listened to me in my writing.  I am thankful for those who have written , commented and talked with me and allowed me to listen to their stories.
Now , let's continue to listen and to understand and learn from each other.

Today , think about   who you have listened to?   Think about who has listened to you
Think about what it means to REALLY listen ( to understand).   As an Adult Child of Divorce, I am listening ( or trying to, at least) . ... . Are you ???

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Topics

JANUARY TOPICS : Help and Hope
Grief
Bonds Unravel
Pain
Anger

FEBRUARY TOPICS: Anger
Counseling
Bargaining
Triangles
Honesty
Depression
Waiting
Boundaries

MARCH TOPICS: Accepting Change
Forgiving Parents
Time For Serenity
Things/Objects of Meaning
House
Rings

APRIL TOPICS: Postcard
Holidays
Recipe
Photo Album
Pathway

JUNE/JULY : Reflecting and Writing Again

AUGUST:
Acods and Listening
Acods and Materialism
Acods and Identity

SEPTEMBER:
Serenity Prayer Worksheet
ACODs and Simplicity
A New Look to the Blog!!
Serenity Prayer Extended Version/Worksheet
Simplicity
Why do we Blog???

NOV/DEC:
ACOD Serenity Prayer
ACOD Fathers and Mothers
Things Still Aren't Right This Christmas

Grandchildren of Divorce
ACODs and Affairs
Keep Going
ACOD Forward and Back
Lord' Prayer ACOD version
Ripple Effect
Grief Revisited
Too Many Choices
ACOD Times To Remember
Telling the Truth
Behind the Curtain

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