Thursday, September 27, 2012

The Serenity Prayer : Expanded Version

A prayer of perspective for Adult Children of Divorce:



God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
--Reinhold Niebuhr

A New Look for my ACOD Blog

A blog for Adult Children of Divorce is an ever changing thing.  It is  like the lives of ACODs everywhere.  Some things stay the same, other things change with time.

After realizing that a new format will give you readers a chance to access the drop down tab on the top left where it says "side bar"   ,   the blog has a new look!!  I am hoping you will use the drop down the side bar choices and choose a page that shows all the post titles ( I think there are 48 now?) .  That will give you a chance to see all that you can read about at one time.  I hope this is helpful.

There are all the other features, but you may need to  hover your mouse over the categories vertically showing icons on the right side of the page. Explore the new format and hopefully you will find all the old things you liked and some new things that help you navigate the site too!  :)

Don't forget to use the white search box in the upper right corner, too!!

A new look, a fresh perspective is good for us all.  May you enjoy and better access the posts as you look for help and hope as an adult child of divorce. I appreciate you readers. It helps to know we are not alone!!

Sincerely,
Serenity

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

ACOD's and Simplicity


Profound statements come from the mouths of adult children of divorce.

Just recently while talking with someone going through the beginning stages of a parental separation the statement was made  
" What used to be simple, isn't simple anymore".

I couldn't help but think how profound and deep that statement is to those whose lives have changed drastically in the aftermath of our parents divorce. Planning a family gathering,  making a phone call,  sending a card, looking through photos, just to name a few things,  aren't ever the same again.

Today I don't have alot to add to that thought.  Just that what used to take little thought or effort, now takes alot of insight and work.  Maybe you are feeling overwhelmed by the perseverance needed now.  Take heart,  it becomes easier as time goes on , in some ways.   We also can treat our relationships in a way that helps them become more simple again , as we define our own convictions and boundaries . 

Simplicity in the life of an ACOD takes on a different reality , but it is possible to regain a sense of it through hard work and time. 

If you have heard any profound statements that you would like to share in how it related to Adult Children of Divorce,  I would LOVE to hear from you.  Feel free to comment below so any readers can take part together.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Being A Male Adult Child Of Divorce



I don't know what it is like to be a man and also an adult child of divorce.

Much of what I have read and many of those to whom I have spoken have been women.
Maybe we feel more comfortable in sharing our feelings or seeking help and support.
I don't know. But today I am wondering what it is like to be a man , who has seen , as an adult, the breakdown of his parents marriage. 

Years ago there was a train of thought that implied it was not divorce in itself that affected children, but instead HOW a divorce was handled.  It is certain that the way in which a divorce plays out can be more negative or more positive, but divorce in itself, in the best of circumstances, with the most mature individuals, still has great effects on the children , no matter what the age.

In the Journal Of Marriage and Family from Nov. 1985 ,  there was an article entitled  The Psychological Well-being of Adult Children of Divorce by Norval D. Glenn and Kathryn B. Kramer of the University of Texas at Austin.    The article was referencing persons who were adults now , but their parents divorced in their childhood. 
Several statements struck me, but two important ones stood out.

Their article stated that  "inferences of no important long term effects.....should be viewed with caution and skepticism". 

And it also stated that there were  "several statistically significant , estimated negative effects....especially for females".....

 That made me think that males and females must handle the divorce of their parents differently. My question today is for those males out there who have experienced the divorce of their parents while adults.   How has it affected you?    How have you felt?   What have you done for help/support?   Do you feel as devastated?  How do you deal with your mother and your father?  How do you feel about relationships now?   If any men are reading this blog, I would be interested in knowing how you are doing. Or if any women with brothers want to weigh in, we'd appreciate an understanding of what it is like to be a male adult child of divorce . Feel free to comment in the section below .

Friday, September 14, 2012

The Serenity Prayer Worksheet




Serenity Prayer Worksheet

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

of

ACT                                                 ACCEPT

What I can influence                                               What I cannot influence

 

 

 

 

                      ABDICATE

                               What only God can influence

 

 

 

 

The Serenity prayer causes us to seek the wisdom of discernment in circumstances and time…we have today…and the future….Today we plan activity and purpose, look for blessings and surrender our will to His.  In the future we look for peace and supreme joy! 

Topics

JANUARY TOPICS : Help and Hope
Grief
Bonds Unravel
Pain
Anger

FEBRUARY TOPICS: Anger
Counseling
Bargaining
Triangles
Honesty
Depression
Waiting
Boundaries

MARCH TOPICS: Accepting Change
Forgiving Parents
Time For Serenity
Things/Objects of Meaning
House
Rings

APRIL TOPICS: Postcard
Holidays
Recipe
Photo Album
Pathway

JUNE/JULY : Reflecting and Writing Again

AUGUST:
Acods and Listening
Acods and Materialism
Acods and Identity

SEPTEMBER:
Serenity Prayer Worksheet
ACODs and Simplicity
A New Look to the Blog!!
Serenity Prayer Extended Version/Worksheet
Simplicity
Why do we Blog???

NOV/DEC:
ACOD Serenity Prayer
ACOD Fathers and Mothers
Things Still Aren't Right This Christmas

Grandchildren of Divorce
ACODs and Affairs
Keep Going
ACOD Forward and Back
Lord' Prayer ACOD version
Ripple Effect
Grief Revisited
Too Many Choices
ACOD Times To Remember
Telling the Truth
Behind the Curtain

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