As an adult child of divorce , turning the calendar over to the year 2014 causes me to wonder what this year has in store for me as I navigate the continued aftermath of my parents divorce. I enthusiastically wished many people a "Happy New Year" a few days ago, and yet I wonder, "what will be new about it?" and "what will make it happy?"
When my parents first divorced, many things were new. There were many new hurts, new questions, and new relationship issues. Yet, on a grander scale, I understood that "there is nothing new under the sun" ( Eccl. 1:9) My family was not the first to experience the effects of divorce, nor would it be the last. The road of divorce has been well-traveled, unfortunately. But I had not been on the road before, so it was new to me!!!
In many ways , a new year is similar. Another day, just on a new page of the calendar. A series of days and weeks that is very familiar to many other minutes and hours of others that have gone before. Really this month is just a continuation of days following the days of last month, yet we choose to signify them as a "new beginning", a "new year". We keep following the road, yet we choose to re-start our journey at a fresh place.
Adult children of divorce don't know exactly what twists and turns we will face in the road, this coming year. We do know that we can start over again in some ways. Maybe small ways. Maybe we can determine to set better boundaries. Others of us may need to get the counseling we know we need. Some of us need to have that meeting with our loved one that we keep thinking about having. Taking care of our own needs may need to become a priority this new year. We can determine to join a support group. Making a list of books to read may help us on our journey.
As adult children of divorce, we don't know exactly what is around the bend for us in the year ahead. As we face the road ahead we can find comfort in the fact that God's compassion is new every morning ( Lam. 3:23) and that we can start fresh in dealing with our parents divorce in some small way this year. Taking a bit of initiative in being better prepared may be just what we need as we turn the next corner in our acod journey !!!!
Here's to a "Happy New Year" for each of us !!!