Time For Serenity

Eleven years has passed since my journey as an Adult Child of Divorce began with a fateful phone call.  As I talked to my pastor a few weeks later, he said something about "years" and I remember my thoughts screaming " Years???!!!  I can't bear this another day! And things need to get back to normal by Thanksgiving six months from now, so we can go on as we always have!!"  His understanding and experience with divorce and how it affects families, gave him a long-term perspective. He was aware that huge changes in a family don't generally resolve quickly!!  Although that view was so very unsettling to me, it was probably good for me to hear right away.  Time would come and go and things would change and there was little I could do to change that. Through the last eleven years of grieving and healing and continuing to deal with the aftermath of my parents divorce,  I have learned that it is OK to take our time, as adult children.  Take your time grie

Top Ten Reasons Adult Children React Negatively When Parents Divorce 1.     The adult child’s sense of normalcy, security and support is taken away. 2.     The adult child is positioned between his or her parents and often a difficult decision of supporting one over the other is forced upon them. 3.     The adult child is put in a situations of answering to family and friends about a parents poor choices. 4.     The adult child often is a part of conflict with his or her siblings as a result of the parent’s divorce and the way each sibling thinks and acts as a result. 5.     The adult child has to answer to his or her children about compromising lifestyle choices of their grandparent and may watch as family values decline as the younger generation watches the older generations behavior. 6.     The adult child may need to make sacrifices in their own life to help and support a parent that is alone. 7.     The adult child may see strain and conflict in the