Time For Serenity

When ACOD blog posts get a bit "heavy" I like to lighten things up by including a quote, cartoon or silly photo.  Here's to all of us ACODs whose backs are getting stronger!!  :)   I would rather have a big burden and a strong back,   than a weak back and a caddy to carry life's luggage. Elbert Hubbard

Adult Children of Divorce often have children of their own.  Our hurt and confusion of how to handle the divorce of our parents and the changes that occur do not end with us.  Our own children are affected and that in turn , affects us as well.  Below is an excerpt ( which I changed a little bit) that I had written a few years ago on a blog ( walking on eggshellz ) on a forum page.  This blog was an incredible encouragement to me as I felt I was not alone in my feelings as an adult who was in pain due to my parents late life divorce. My age ( 40's) did separate me from the others who blogged .  Most of them were in their early twenties and I have learned to have empathy for their struggle at that crossroads of life.  Although we related on many levels, my feelings concerning how I dealt with MY children and how my children dealt with their divorcing grandparents caused me to reflect in the following words. Several years and situations have come...

ACOD blog followers:  Happy 1st Anniversary!!  A year ago I overcame my fears and insecurities and committed to beginning a relationship with unknown people who may come together in our challenges of being Adult Children Of Divorce. It has been a tremendous blessing to me and I am grateful for those of you who have emailed or commented and just read a page or two of the blog. I sincerely hope that we have all gained strength in knowing we are not alone and courage as we share and read how others in our situation move ahead in healthy ways. Happy 1st Anniversary to the Blog !!  And blessings to the blog followers!!

Beautiful carols, fine clothing, delicious food, gifts and more.  Christmas is for celebrating and enjoying God's goodness.  He sent His Son, Immanuel, God With Us, to save us and to make things right.  Try as we may, to capture the essence of this spiritual reality, it doesn't always seem so. In spite of health, family togetherness, and other comforts, this Christmas the children are grown and the childlike wonder is gone.  This Christmas sadness lingers from breakdown of extended family ties from the aftermath of divorce and distant relationships.  This Christmas new gifts were delivered with damage and the keeping of holiday traditions caused expensive messes! This Christmas the rain fell and roads became icy and we couldn't see the outdoor lights as we usually do.  My tooth has been sore and sensitive ( reflecting my emotions in an ironic manner) despite efforts to relieve the pain, so this Christmas I can only carefully enjoy the goodies. ...

Adult Children of Divorce usually have one parent who has been more influential in the breakup of the parent's marriage.  Sometimes it is mutually decided, but in my contact with many other ACODs I have found that it is very common that one parent decides to have a new life. Many other ACODs share that the "leaving" parent has made statements about finally being able to do what they want to, or comments that now it is their time to be selfish.  It is hard work being a mother or a father, but intrinsic is the opportunity to put your children's well-being above your own.  I can't imagine doing that for multiple decades, as I have only been a parent for 23 years , but it is my goal to do nothing that will put my children's well-being in jeopardy. No matter how old they are , or I am.  Often a part of the picture is an affair.  In my case, my father had an affair and made a choice that life apart of the family , and instead with his girlfriend, was hi...

Stick Your Neck Out and Face the Holidays as an ACOD!! When parents divorce in our adulthood, holidays change. Read my post called The Holiday to gain some help and hope for this challenging time of year. http://acodtimeforserenity.blogspot.com/2012/04/holiday.html#!/2012/04/holiday.html Take out a piece of paper and every time you think of something that is GOOD in your life, write it down. Although adult children of divorce have pain and loss, focusing on our blessings helps keep our perspective in balance. I am thankful for those who read, comment and email and help me not feel alone in this journey as an ACOD!!!

The Serenity Prayer for Adult Children of Divorce God grant us adult children of divorce the serenity to accept that things won't be the same in our families; courage to change things for the best when we can; and wisdom to know what is up to us, and what isn't. Living one day at a time; and handling one situation that arises at a time; Enjoying good past memories and enjoying each present moment as much as we are able, as we ultimately look to the future. Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace ; Trying to live as He did in this sinful world, accepting it as it is and not as we wish it were. Trusting that He will make all things right in our inner spirits and in the last chapter of our story, if we surrender to His Will; That we may be reasonably content in this life and supremely whole and in communion with God forever in the next. Amen. ( taken from The Pathway post on Time For Serenity blog)