Time For Serenity

When we are in pain , Children of Divorce , and others dealing with other loss, often look for signs.  Some people see "signs" in a lot of happenings, and others choose to look at life more objectively.  I have tried to have a balanced view of "signs" , understanding that some things have reasons for how or why they happen , but at other times, we simply can not explain something that happens, except for that it may be somewhat supernatural. Two years ago , right around Valentines Day,  as I was experiencing continued pain and adjustment to my parents divorce, I asked God to provide me with some sign of His love.   Something to help me know He was still there and there was still a purpose to all that was going on. The photo above shows you what I saw a few days later. The water in my terracotta  birdbath had become icy in a perfect heart shape.  I have never seen this before or since!!  The "sign" made me smile an...

  Adult children of late life divorce know what it means to have a family reputation   change.   What was, isn’t anymore, and we have to answer to that in our communities. Moving back to my hometown had been challenging.   There are good memories and bad memories that return as I drive the streets and visit the restaurants and places of the past.   Understanding that my perceptions of my childhood were not always what I thought them to be is hard at times. But answering to others in the community about my family and where we are today is one of the most difficult things I have encountered. My job takes me into the community. I rub shoulders with others who have lived here for a long time. I was gone for over thirty years. I am not the same person I was when I lived here as a child. Neither is my family the same. Yet often, people don’t know what has happened.   I inevitably meet people whom I recognize from my childhood or I make the “mist...

A book by me ,  for us Adult Children of Divorce.  May it provide what it claims : Help to get through , and Hope for the future.   Click HERE

As an adult child of divorce , turning the calendar over to the year 2014 causes me to wonder what this year has in store for me as I navigate the continued aftermath of my parents divorce.  I enthusiastically wished many people a "Happy New Year" a few days ago, and yet I wonder, "what will be new about it?" and "what will make it happy?" When my parents first divorced, many things were new. There were many new hurts, new questions, and new relationship issues.  Yet, on a grander scale, I understood that "there is nothing new under the sun" ( Eccl. 1:9)  My family was not the first to experience the effects of divorce, nor would it be the last. The road of divorce has been well-traveled, unfortunately.  But I had not been on the road before, so it was new to me!!! In many ways , a new year is similar.  Another day, just on a new page of the calendar. A series of days and weeks that is very familiar to many other minutes and hours of ot...

Adult Children of Divorce and others who have experienced loss , often feel conflicted at this time of year.  Holidays often bring warm , happy feelings and well-wishes, good food and gifts of many kinds.  For those who are grieving , the messages we receive from others may not match with the way we feel at the moment. Henry W. Longfellow experienced this on Christmas Day in 1863.  His wife had recently died in an accident , and his oldest son was serving as a Union soldier in the American Civil War, without his father's blessing.  Henry penned his poem "Christmas Bells" when he was feeling the conflict, of the hope and good news of the season, yet feeling his own personal loss at the same time.  Later the poem was put to music. I have always loved the sound and melody of the song, but only recently truly read and thought about Longfellow's words.  And I added a few stanzas of my own, as follows: I heard the bells on Christmas Day Their o...

Many adult children of divorce have prodigal parents. Today I re-read Luke 15: 11- 32 which is given the heading "The parable of the Lost Son" or "The parable of the Prodigal Son" . Jesus told this story as a response to religious leaders as they questioned why Jesus was speaking to an audience of "sinners".  The story illustrates a father welcoming a wayward son home, just as God welcomes a humble, repentant man or woman back into fellowship with him after they have strayed. If you are an adult child of divorce you likely have a lost or prodigal parent. They leave, go off on their own , and pursue their own lives and pleasures. Often we, as children, are left to wait. We have to let them go. Sometimes this means distance, sometimes estrangement. We wonder if they will ever "come to their senses" as the son in the parable does. We hope for that and pray for that and we wait. And we hurt. In the book "Parenting your Adult Chi...

Adult Children of Divorce need other Adult Children of Divorce. I am grateful to those who have contacted me and shared their stories and what their struggle entails as they journey through being an adult child of divorce.  The feeling that we are not alone is a great consolation to each other. Thanks for all those who read my blog. I am thankful for you and do remember you in my prayers at this time of thanksgiving !!!