On A Lighter ( Love ) Note



What does LOVE look like
                 ???





A wise counselor once asked me   "What does loving your mother look like in XYZ situation?"  and "What does loving your father look like in ABC situation?"  The challenge was to think of how REAL LOVE considers the OTHER person's good and benefit as the main goal.  




      Quotes below from Tuesdays With Morrie book 

Hopefully an encouragement to those Adult Children Of Divorce who are married and want to stay married to the person to whom they made the vow.


   " I've learned this much about marriage," he said now.  "You get tested. You find out     who you are, who the other person is, and how you accommodate or don't."
    Is there some kind of rule to know if a marriage is going to work?
    Morrie smiled.  "Things are not that simple, Mitch."
    I know.
    "Still,"  he said , "there are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage  :  If you don't respect the other person, you're gonna have a lot of trouble.  If you don't know how to compromise, you're gonna have a lot of trouble.  If you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. And if you don't have a common set of values in life, you're gonna have a lot of trouble.  Your values must be alike.
    "And the biggest one of those values, Mitch?"
      Yes?
    "Your belief in the importance of your marriage."
    

Comments

  1. UnknownFebruary 14, 2012 at 9:29 AM

    So, SO true! If you don't believe in the importance of marriage and don't have the willingness to work at your marriage each day, what else is left? Well said.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Adult Children of Divorce Sometimes Choose Estrangement

Image
I have been avoiding writing this post in my blog because I realize that many acods maintain a relationship with their parents or even the “offending” parent after a late life divorce occurs.   I want to encourage that and hope and pray that many grey divorces do not end with estrangement of parent and child.   But in my own experience and in the lives of other acods who have written to me, or whom I have met, that is not always the case. Often the adult child or the parent chooses estrangement for many reasons. “Offense”, “sin”, “hurt” …call it what you will, but when an adult child has one parent who has made a conscious decision for months or years to betray the other parent,   the adult child learning of the situation is often in disbelief.    Hoping to understand, they talk to the “offending” parent, only to receive defensive language and behavior and the acknowledgment of hurt and pain caused is denied.   Often a lack of personal responsibility and lack of feeling fami
Read more

Adult Children Of Divorce and Grief

Image
When I first became aware of the stages of grief, I assumed that I would experience it firsthand when someone close to me died,  not when my parents divorced in my adulthood.  As I cried my way through the first days and months of the shock of what was about to happen to my family of orgin, the pain was deep and unbearable at times.  Before the tears came readily and daily I seemed to walk around from task to task while hours ticked away in my day, as I functioned on auto-pilot, but my thoughts were consumed with the surprise and disbelief that my father had another love and would leave my mother and what we knew and loved of family to be with her. I reasoned that he would reconsider, that the affair wasn't as serious as it seemed, and that all would eventually be OK.  Little did I realize that I was experiencing the Stages of Grief due to the great pain and loss that I was experiencing.  The Stages of Grief are expressed by various words in different grief literature.  I wil
Read more

ACODs and Affairs

Many of us ACODs have witnessed the burning down of our families due to the fuel of an affair on the part of one or both of our parents. Affairs can sometimes be "explained away" to a child.  Reasons of friendship, having grown apart, or a new chance at love may seem reasonable to a child, although hurtful. As adults, we are familiar with the concept of affairs and we often observe it from afar in the lives of others, but when the many levels of deception, betrayal and destruction are experienced first or second-hand, there is a deeper clarity and pain. Since the discovery of my father's affair, and subsequent choices of his ended family as we all knew it, I have heard many people refer to affairs in common terms. They may call it a "mistake" or "just an affair".  Some say things like "all sin is the same in God's eyes" or they minimize the personal responsibility by claiming that sometimes people can't "help it". 
Read more