Friday, February 24, 2012

You Can Deal With ACOD Depression

As your parents divorce you may recognize that you are depressed and need to do something about it.  Realizing your losses and seeing your own need are the first steps to getting healthy.  The other sources of help may be determined by your own situation and what assistance seems most needed first.  The effects of your parents divorce will be felt emotionally,spiritually, mentally and physically.  So the help you get may need to address each of these components as well.

In my case,  I seemed to address my emotional and spiritual struggles first. I went to books(which I have listed in the margins of my blog) ,  my pastor,  a support group called Divorce Care, and a counselor.  This provided amazing relief and clarity for me.   But I also realized that I needed to work on giving myself new mental stimuli, so I took a pottery class, just for fun!    I found that physically I needed to take walks to help balance my anxious energy at times.  Medication gave my brain the ability to retain some chemicals I had lost during the stress.   After about three years ( I sounds like such a long time, but just take one day at a time)  I realized that all the parts of my life seemed more healthy and in balance than when I first began to process my parents divorce and I had moved in and out of finding help for each aspect of my life as the need presented itself.  It is something I am still aware of and providing for even today!

Tips for dealing with your parents divorce:

Emotionally:    *Find a support group, a counselor, various friends or a pastor
                               *Give yourself some slack. Lessen demands on yourself and others
                               *Find something to laugh about and get your mind off of the pain

Spiritually:        *Explore your beliefs and values
                                *Pray alone and with others
                                *Help others with a completely different need
                                *Learn about forgiveness

Mentally:            *Try to encourage positive thoughts
                                *Make a plan or a list for your day so you can accomplish something
                                *Think through challenging conversations ahead of time
                                *Try a new hobby or activity for fun

Physically:         *Exercise
                                *Eat healthy
                                *Pay attention to sleep patterns and try to get good sleep
                                *Talk to your doctor about your depression
                                       Your doctor may ask how long and severe it has been occurring
                                       and you may be referred to a specialist or psychologist who may
                                       suggest medication.  Be open to this , while trying other things!

When an adult child of divorcing parents is dealing with depression, the goal is not to necessarily fix the problem or eliminate issues of conflict within the family.  The object is instead to begin healing at a soul-level.   We can not be responsible for others, but we can take our own thoughts and behaviors and modify them, one step at a time.  Just do what you can do for now, and in time, your depression will feel and look different in your life!

( Highly recommended book :   Happiness Is A Choice   by Frank Minirth and Paul Meier )

Next post will be another On A Lighter Note page - to help us laugh, smile  and lighten up emotionally!!  :)

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JANUARY TOPICS : Help and Hope
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MARCH TOPICS: Accepting Change
Forgiving Parents
Time For Serenity
Things/Objects of Meaning

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JUNE/JULY : Reflecting and Writing Again

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Acods and Materialism
Acods and Identity

Serenity Prayer Worksheet
ACODs and Simplicity
A New Look to the Blog!!
Serenity Prayer Extended Version/Worksheet
Why do we Blog???

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Things Still Aren't Right This Christmas

Grandchildren of Divorce
ACODs and Affairs
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